We Can Do Hard Things

How running has helped remind me of my inner strength

I ran sixteen miles this morning. It felt like one of the hardest things I’ve done in a long time. You might wonder why someone would want to do such a thing and why you would put yourself through such a grueling experience. That’s a fair question and one that I asked myself.

As I had over three hours to process the question, I realized why I signed up with my sister to train for a marathon. It wasn’t to get in shape, lose weight, or show anyone else what I’m capable of. Instead, it was that over the past year I’ve felt the need to remind myself of my inner strength and ability to do hard things.

When life throws us challenges, my sister and I remind each other to use the affirmation, “we can do hard things”. We borrowed this mantra from the author Glennon Doyle. In her first book, Love Warrior, she shared her own struggles and how she and her family navigated through them. She would often remind her kids that when life got tough, they could do hard things.

Life is constantly in flux. We might strive for equanimity or contentedness, happiness, joy, or a sense of inner peace. Through meditation, yoga, self-inquiry and even running, I’ve found moments of all of those feelings.

I’ve also experienced fears, sadness, loss, loneliness and depression. As a mom to two teenagers, I’ve felt the roller coaster of emotions that comes along with being a parent as well. I have stood witness to their ups and downs, as well as that of my clients.

When you have hours of time to be alone with  your thoughts, as I did on my run this morning, you have the opportunity to experience a wide variety of thoughts and emotions.

There were miles that felt hard; painful, fatiguing, and where I felt like I could hardly put one foot in front of the next. There were miles where I felt euphoric, strong, and steady. There were moments of questioning my ability to keep going.

Using the mantra, “I can do hard things” helps me reconnect with the strength that I know I have stored within me. Life isn’t always going to be easy. There will be times where no one else will be able to fully understand what we are going through, or how our life experiences might be impacting us. It’s during those times that I remember what I’ve been through already and how I’ve gotten to where I am.

In my work as a therapist, I often ask clients to remember when they’ve gone through something hard in the past and how they got through it. By looking at our past experiences and how we navigated them, we can pull on that strength again in the present moment. We all have an inner resiliency within us, we just sometimes need to be reminded of it.

I hope to be able to run across the finish line at the marathon this June. If for some reason I’m not able to, I will still be proud of the strength it took to continue to do the work to get to the starting line.

By Nicole Lovald, E-RYT, LMFT